Yes. It’s all over. The crypto era is officially a thing of the past. Luckily, the Dypto Crypto team managed to withdraw all funds from public and private portfolios before the shutdown. What are we going to do with our tens of millions of dollars? The plan is to start a chain of vegan fried chicken restaurants called Dypto Chicko.

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Also…April Fools! Crypto is still a thing. Dypto Cryto is not hustling vegan chicken. But it was a busy week in the world of digital assets. So let’s get after it.
This Week in Crypto News
Balancer Labs Shuts Down Four Months After Exploit
TLDR
Balancer Labs is shutting down because it was overspending and facing legal liabilities following a major security exploit.
The actual Balancer protocol (the code that lets people trade crypto) is still generating revenue and will remain fully operational.
Control is shifting to the Balancer Foundation and its DAO, a community-led group where users vote on major decisions.
Balancer Labs, the corporate team behind the popular decentralized finance (DeFi) platform Balancer, is officially closing its doors. This tough decision comes four months after a $116 million hack put a serious strain on their finances and created major legal headaches.
The Balancer platform itself isn't going anywhere. The founders are handing the keys over to the community to keep the platform running. The company shuts down, but the code lives on.
Why it matters for crypto users.
This story is the perfect lesson in what makes blockchain technology so unique. In the traditional finance world, if a bank or company goes bust, everything grinds to a halt. In the crypto world, a company can completely dissolve while the service it built keeps running seamlessly for its users.
However, this is also a big, flashing neon sign about the importance of safety. Hacks happen, and they can severely damage even the biggest decentralized platforms. Stick to user-friendly platforms that offer secure wallet integration and low transaction fees while you learn the ropes. Start small and use the educational resources available to you (Us, we’re talking about us).
Bitmine Immersion Launches Its Own Staking Platform
TLDR
The Made in America Validator Network will use top-tier, US-based infrastructure. With over 3 million ETH ready to be put to work, MAVAN is set to become the largest Ethereum staking service globally right out of the gate.
The custom-built tech handles the staking process on a massive, institutional scale.
Bitmine isn’t stopping at Ethereum. They plan to roll out their staking tech to other crypto networks soon, building a stronger foundation for the whole crypto space.
Bitmine Immersion Technologies has launched a new, large-scale, institutional-grade project called the Made in America Validator Network (MAVAN for short). Bitmine already holds a mountain of Ethereum. We're talking around $6.8 billion worth.
The move creates the world's largest staking platform and demonstrates to users and major institutional players that Bitmin is dedicated to securing the Ethereum network and advancing the future of digital assets.
Why crypto users may find this news interesting.
If you are just starting your crypto journey, seeing a giant company pour billions of dollars into Ethereum staking is a huge confidence boost. MAVAN's intense focus on US-based security makes the underlying Ethereum network safer and more reliable.
When big institutions build secure, heavy-duty infrastructure, it makes buying and holding crypto a whole lot less intimidating for the rest of us.
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Question of the Week
From TikTok - “RWA this. RWA that. Is any of this RWA stuff real?”
Short answer? Yes. Longer answer? Below.
Meme of the Week

By the Numbers - The Dypto Crypto Portfolio

Here’s a screenshot of our portfolio, which we started in late December 2024.
Original portfolio valuation - 3 ETH ($9,670)
2025 portfolio valuation - $8,049 YTD - (-)15%
2026 start - $8,813
Current valuation - $5,803 YTD - YTD - (-) 34%
The winds of change can be a cruel mistress. It would appear that we had a bit of a “dead cat bounce” over the last few weeks, with the market showing some signs of life before retreating. Current geopolitical issues and macroeconomic uncertainty in the US could be playing major roles here.
But as for the portfolio, we’re still happy with our move to exit LP and move into Aave. The impermanent loss, as lead analyst CJ Miller foresaw, would have eaten our portfolio alive due to the volatility of late.
Deep Dive - RWA Alert (Kinda) - Coinbase Is Getting into the Crypto-Backed Mortgage Game
Coinbase has teamed up with a lender called Better to offer a new product. They’re rolling out the first-ever crypto-backed, conforming mortgages, making the entry into homeownership a whole lot easier.
Instead of liquidating your digital assets, this fresh setup lets you use your crypto as collateral for a down payment loan. It neatly bridges the gap between your digital wealth and real-world real estate. You get to keep your crypto, let it ride the market, and still get the keys to your new front door.
It sounds complicated, but it’s actually incredibly simple. When you close on your house, you get two loans. The first is a standard, government-backed Fannie Mae mortgage. The second is a loan specifically for your down payment, secured by the Bitcoin or USDC you pledge as collateral.
The coolest part? Both loans are bundled together with the exact same interest rate and timeline, meaning you only have to worry about one easy monthly payment. For example, if you want a $500,000 house, you can pledge $250,000 in Bitcoin to get a $100,000 cash down payment loan.
The pledged crypto sits locked in a secure, institutional-grade custody account for the life of the loan. It’s completely protected, and once you pay off the loan, your crypto is returned to you.
This is a cool step forward for making digital assets an everyday financial tool. You no longer have to choose between your crypto journey and a real-world roof over your head.
Question of the Week Answer
They are 100% the real deal. If you thought bringing real-world assets onto the blockchain was just internet buzz, the news from Coinbase above should be enough to change your mind. If it’s not, there was other big news last week about RWAs in a different sector.
The New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) has teamed up with a company called Securitize to bring tokenized securities (think of them as highly secure, digital versions of traditional stocks and assets) to the market.
Together, they are building an entirely new digital trading platform. Securitize is stepping up as the very first digital transfer agent to mint these blockchain-native assets for corporate issuers.
The NYSE's leap into digital assets proves that blockchain tech is a secure, trusted foundation for the future of finance. They are focusing heavily on keeping investors safe, maintaining strict regulatory standards, and ensuring transparency.
Crypto and traditional finance are working together to make investing easy and simple. If the biggest stock exchange in the world is trusting blockchain to secure your financial future, you can bet that tokenized Real World Assets are about as legit and real as they can be.

